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elmanie
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Name: Melanie
Birthday: 8/7/1985
Gender: Female
Interests: obscure trivia, reading, writing, softball, laziness, movies, love, life, being a dork, art, random old actors, etc.
Expertise: Weird young lady.
Occupation: Student
Industry: Other
Message: message me
Website: visit my website
AIM:  Melhu01
Member Since:
7/31/2004
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| Okay I know I am going to overuse that little quote from Venture Bros
but right now I don't care. The love for Dr. Orpheus is through the
roof atm.
I got pretty depressed for a little bit, but I am putting it off to
being hormonal or something. Nothing big, just want to get it out of
the way. Felt pretty good on Monday night, and tonight was okay. Monday
went to Kisha's and hung out, and played Wii games. Tonight was Josh
Miller's 23rd, and I went out to Applebees and hung out with him and a
bunch of other people.
There's not a lot to talk about, really. I'm still thinking about
taking some cooking classes. I'm quietly thinking of wedding things,
though not as much as I was a little while ago. I guess at the moment I
am jsut trying to enjoy life as it is.
Tomorrow I close. It's a truck day so there should be at least some stuff to do.
Eh. Ttyl.
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| This is a test of the emergency broadcast system.
....beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep....
okay I will post something real later
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| I've got some healthy-ish food ready to be consumed in the morning.
Josh is going to try and lose weight/go to the gym again, as am I. I'm still the same weight as I was a couple of months ago, but for my general health(and a desire to NOT feel bad in a swimsuit) I need to get up and moving again. I'm going to try and play intramural softball
Also oh dear lord...is it bad that I looked up and saw a cheesy travel show opening sequence and immediately identified it as Michael Palin? I love that man XD
Josh didn't come back down today with me. a combination of getting his car fixed and an old friend coming into town has deterred him. So I have at least one more night of being alone in this apartment. Morristown wasn't too bad though. There wasn't a lot to do, in the cold and rain and off season for most theme parks. But I got to see his family and play on the Wii and hear his brother talking about wedding stuff with his fiancee and such.
Here's to a hopefully healthier and less stress inducing rest of the semester. And to finding a topic for my China paper.
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| Maybe it is the fact that I am the only one awake in my apartment, or maybe it is because I've been really introverted the last couple of days, but I find today is actually a good one.
I've wasted my day, but I am not sad. I have things to do, like clean the guinea pig cage, read my china stuff, do laundry, and take the pets to teh vet. But I haven't done a thing except reflect on my life, and look up random presidential facts.
I'll start off by saying for the longest time I have never really approved of our society. I find the workings of the government faulty. However today, while watching a History channel special on presidents(and psychic things omg), I started looking up random info on the presidents featured, and then their first ladies, and then the other presidents that i grew up being taught to admire. It has been a weird day, sitting and reading wikis(yea not the greatest source of info but it led me to other things). I read about all the awesome things FDR and Eleanor did for the country, as well as Nancy Reagan and Betty Ford. etcetc
Then it progressed into their funerals, which yeah started to creep me out, but I couldn't stop reading about FDR's fineral, Reagan's, Ford, Lincoln etc. I started reading about how Lincoln's coffin has been exhumed a dozen and a half times, that they pried the coffin open at one point and he was hardly even decayed. That led me to want to find photos, as I can get morbidly curious about things. I saw the JFK autopsy photos for the first time in my life today, and in color no less. I saw photos of Bonnie and Clyde I had never seen. I read more about Lincoln than I think I ever have
Also was finding recordings. I've been listening to Teddy Roosevelt and Hitler for a while, just being amazed at putting sound to pictures I have seen in history books, and knowing how these people sounded is not really history making, but it's really cool. I mean, Hitler's voice in rally videos is very bold but weird, but listening to a normal conversation, he sounds like any normal German person. Roosevelt's voice doesn't quite fit what I pictured, but it still very respectable. "Speak softly and carry a large stick"; he appears to have really lived by that. well spoken but a hard-ass.
I've also been reflecting on my relationships, and convincing myself that if people don't like me, then they just don't. I'm very odd, oblivious, and sometimes say and do incredibly dumb things. But whatever, really. I am trying to make this year one where I finally stop worrying as much, and just focus on the now and being happy with what I have.
(At this point I ranted against my church and organized religion but my EFFING LAPTOP IS SO DAMNED STUPID AND BACKSPACED WHEN I DIDN"T HIT A SINGLE BUTTON)
Long story short, the church I went to for 18 years of my life, has all but ruined my outlook on religion. I see it as an example as one of the worst things to experience. I don't think my dad realized just how much I hated that place, because everyone I saw as a stand up and decent person was looked down upon, and shunned. I was looked down on because I wasn't as outgoing as another girl, and personally right now I think I am a better person. My own family members have been looked down on. I am never planning on getting back into organized religion. I can make my own peace with whatever is above me. I do believe in a higher power, but I don't believe that it should be a requirement to commune with people just to talk to them.
also before my laptop went stupid, I had wrote that my political beliefs are about as apathetic as my religious ones. I don't really care who wins the election, I just don't want anyone incompetent and for the country to be destroyed.
I've also also been thinking about how, as a person, I have grown and such. This year I am trying to convince myself that stuff doesn't matter in the long run. if someone doesn't like me it is their own fault. I have a decent family life now, a guy who I love to pieces, and still have some of the coolest friends in the whole wide world.
Apparently I am losing feeling in my right fingers. Creeping me out and making it hard to type.
So for the tl;dr people: I plan on making my life healthier, both mentally and physically. It will take a bit, but it will happen. I love everyone in my life who make it a point to hug me, and to tell me I am loved. If it weren't for you all, I would quite literally have gone insane by now.
Luvs
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| Slightly emo slightly not update on my life
I'm beginning to feel as if my friend connections made over the last 5
years weren't what I thought they were. I mean, I hardly see anyone
from high school anymore, let alone the people I lived in the dorms
with. I still stay in touch with people from high school, but what
really gets me are the ones I have so close to me currently, that have
all but disappeared from my life. It's like I was only ever around
because I dated a friend, and now that I am no longer in his life in
that form, why bother talking to me too much. I'm hardly ever told
anything, and appear to be a nuisance more than anything else
I
am trying to get out of my funk, and it doesn't help I am typing this
while in one. A change in prescriptions soon will help with that, also
sunny weather or some shit.
My exam, I didn't die. Just got
beaten by it. I knew what I was talking about, but I'm afraid that I
didn't put enough information down to warrant full credit. My laundry
needs to be done next week as well as cleaning the guinea pig cage, and
getting their nails trimmed. V-day went okay. Josh got me a Threadless
T that I had my eye on, and we went to Nashville and ate at the
Spaghetti Factory. Since dad was at work we went and saw my mom(who was
at work as well but since she works at an elem school in the office it
was easier to get to her). She gave us an assortment of Girl Scout
cookies. Also learned from her that my brother is switching from
psychology to something else, and that my dad is planning on retiring
from the state in March. Which has made his boss very unhappy and she
is trying to persuade him to stay, as he is pretty cool at his job and
such. But he is just getting worn out. He would have to stay another 10
years to get full pension but with half and my mom working they should
be okay. Also what we have from my grandad's will will help out too.
Started drying again yesterday because I started dwelling on his and
Mamaw's deaths. But it's okay
Going to Thomas Andrews tonight,
for a Guinness toast. Ran into Toby who told me about it. I think he's
the only one who told me about the movie thing last week.
Saturday
is Josh from work's going away thing. last day at bam was yesterday I
think, and he is going to Germany soon. That should prove fun. I also
need to ask for some time off around Spring Break so I can go out of
town for anything.
May be going on a cruise this summer. Which
reminds me I don't know if anyone really cares or not since I wasn't
sure in the first place but I am 95% sure now I am not going to Beach
House this year. I want to meet some of the new people going but yeah.
I got really withdrawn the first day or two last time because I felt a
bit out of place. I warmed up after that but I really think I need to
just be doing things with family and future family members this summer.
Plus looking for a newish job in addition to bam, unless i can get full
time there. then again I am also thinking of culinary school or my
masters starting next semester.
Yeah that's all I think. Time for more contemplating on my status and whatnot. | | |
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